


To Be an Alpha

by musikurt



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 13:59:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musikurt/pseuds/musikurt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek reflects on his leadership, or lack thereof.</p><p>(Takes place sometime in early Season 2.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Be an Alpha

Derek collapsed in the chair and sighed. Everything seemed like it was unraveling and nothing was going the way he'd planned. He never expected that being an Alpha would be an easy task, but he always thought it was something he would be able to handle. He was an intelligent and capable werewolf. He'd managed very well in a variety of dangerous and stressful situations. Why was this so different?

His mother had been the model leader. Even wolves outside of their family respected her. Her opinion was valued and people listened. He'd tried to channel her in dealing with his pack, but sometimes the right words just didn't come. And the fact that he was a bit more impulsive didn't seem to help him at all, either. The shadow of Talia Hale was not a fun one to be living in, regardless.

Laura always had it together. They'd survived after the fire thanks to her. Derek would have easily been consumed by finding who caused the deaths of their family and getting revenge. Even now that was a thought that lingered with him. But Laura knew to keep them off of that path. She understood that they needed to focus on their own safety first, lest they end up meeting the same fate. But now Laura was gone, too.

Derek didn't even want to think about Peter. He was never truly an Alpha. Peter was a coward who would sacrifice the people he should be protecting for his own gain. He was rash and irresponsible. He did things without thinking through the potential consequences. Derek was more like his uncle than he wanted to admit. But at least he knew he would never kill a member of his own pack just to improve his own lot. That went against everything that he and the Hale Pack stood for.

He wondered if maybe he didn't spend enough time selecting his Betas. He'd investigated several options before he went with the three he chose, but he probably could have taken more time. He was prone to quick decisions and they weren't always the best ones. But Boyd, Erica, and Isaac had done well. They'd handled the transition with very few problems. They took to their new power quickly and had no trouble understanding the pack dynamic. No, of the options he had in Beacon Hills, they were the right choices. Even if they were a small pack of teenagers.

Training was something Derek wished they all had more time for. If it wouldn't raise too much suspicion, he'd considered asking them to blow off school and spend more time with him learning how to fight. They needed to learn strategy and tactics. He'd put them through some of the same training that his mother had provided for him. But instead they had some time in the evenings and on the weekends and Derek was left alone during the day to just think about things. And that wasn't always a good thing for Derek to have: time to think. There was a reason he made quick decisions. If he spent to much time on things, he'd overthink them and get stressed out. This often led to even worse decision-making on his part.

Then there was the issue of Scott McCall. Derek really wished he would just commit to being a part of the pack. Sometimes it seemed like he was on the verge of officially joining with Derek, but then he'd just as quickly distance himself from everything the pack was doing. Scott was willing to help them with some tasks, but other times he acted like Derek's plans were the worst ones he'd ever heard. Though, to Scott's credit, there was a likelihood he might be right. But Derek was still doing his best under the circumstances. Even though he thought he could handle the role of Alpha, it's not one he ever really wanted. He never aspired to lead his own pack.

Maybe it was just that they were facing too many challenges at once. Not only were they still having to fend off the hunters who seemed set on destroying Derek and his entire pack, but there was also the issue of the Kanima. Talia would have found a way to broker peace with the hunters long enough to deal with the Kanima together. Derek was certain of that. But he had no idea how to even open up that sort of conversation. And he didn't exactly have the greatest history with the Argents. Scott was close to their daughter and that might be an angle Derek could use. But that plan rested, once again, on Scott being willing to go along with Derek's plan. And that wasn't something Derek could even begin to count on.

Derek picked up a book off the table next to the chair. He'd fallen asleep reading it the previous night looking for more clues about the Kanima. Stiles had been able to collect some good research, but it wasn't enough to provide all the answers. And he needed answers desperately. As long as the Kanima was out there, the pack would be dealing with two major threats. He knew he couldn't easily neutralize the hunters - an entire family turning up dead or going missing was likely to arouse even more suspicions with local law enforcement. But the Kanima was one person. And he wondered if it might be a person who was likely not to be missed. That would be ideal.

In that moment, Derek figured out what needed to be done. He'd put the entire pack on Kanima watch. If they could find and stop the Kanima, then they wouldn't need to be dividing their attention any longer. And, he wondered, if they stopped the Kanima, maybe he could use it as a bargaining chip to work out some sort of truce with the Argents. He knew better than to think it would be something that lasted forever, but even if they could strike a temporary deal, then he could work on further strengthening his pack. If they didn't have to watch their backs all the time, then maybe he could be a better leader and become the Alpha that his mother's son should really be.


End file.
